Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now

A book i read in June but keep forgetting to post this stuff from the book. Guilty of some but this list is not complete cos i didnt get to read finish the book before i returned the book. #problemsofborrowinglibrarybooks #inspiredtopostthispieceofshitbyclara

  • Most of the heartbreak that life contains is a result of ignoring the reality that past behavior is the most reliable predictor of future behavior.
  • 3 components of happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to look forward to.
  • The thing about true love is to become totally vulnerable to another
  • We operate in a world mostly on autopilot, doing the same things today that didn’t work yesterday.
  • The young people trade their chance at autonomous lives in exchange for the security of a familiar, childlike existence that serves to reassure their parents that they need not relinquish the responsibilities in which their sense if themselves depends.
  • Therapeutic alliance: the patient must be convinced that the therapist is on his or her side.
  • Most people know what’s good for them, know what will make them feel  better: exercise, hobbies, time with those they care about. They do not avoid these things because of their ignorance of their value, but because they are no longer “motivated” to do them. They are waiting until they feel better. Frequently it’s a long wait.
  • When applied to people who abuse food, alcohol, or other substances, or simply require medication to control their anxiety, the term “disabled” removes not only any sense of responsibility for overcoming one’s problems, it damages irrevocably the self respect that comes with the sense of being a free person on the Earth, able to struggle with and overcome adversity.
  • The role of victim is generally accompanied by a sense of shame and self blame.
  • To take the risks necessary to achieve this goal of finding someone worthy of our love is an act of courage. To refuse to take them, to protect our hearts against all loss, is an act of despair.
  • We all tend to get defensive if our deeply held convictions are challenged.
  • The things we are sure will make us happy seldom do.
  • The list of paradoxes is endless: the relentless pursuit of pleasure pain; the greatest risk is not taking any; the youth is wasted on the young.
  • Impermanence mocks us. Only by embracing our mortality can we be happy in the time we have.
  • We live in a society that is risk-averse. Enormous time and energy is devoted to promoting “safety” in all we do.
  • This modern pursuit of the fountain of youth bespeaks a lack of acceptance of our common fate.
  • We are taught to do what we are told until sufficient time elapses that we are allowed to tell others what to do.

I think this book has a lot valid points haha reasons why i read self help books although im reading alot of fiction right now haha. i wondered why sometimes i only read fairytales when i was younger sigh. Shall probably take down more stuffs while reading hahah. and oh yes i have watched howl’s moving castle the movie is not bad thanks hanyi for the show hahaha. shall finish reading if i stay by tmr i hope and i shall go find where she went heard that book is nicer than the if i stay cos its from the guy’s perspective haha. but i think this author books titles are damn funny if you translate into chinese hahahaha.

Edit: Cos i have forgotten to add in more quotes which is actually the actual titles of each chapters. Each title/quote are actually worth pondering about.

  1. If the map doesn’t agree with the ground, the map is wrong.
  2. We are what we do.
  3. It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place.
  4. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas.
  5. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least.
  6. Feelings follow behaviors.
  7. Be bold, and the mighty forces will come to your aid.
  8. The perfect is the enemy of the good.
  9. Life’s two most important questions are “Why?” and “Why not?”. The trick is knowing which one to ask.
  10. Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses.
  11. The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves.
  12. The problems of elderly are frequently serious and seldom interesting.
  13. Happiness is the ultimate risk.
  14. True love is the apple of Eden.
  15. Only bad things happen quickly.
  16. Not all who wander are lost.
  17. Unrequited love is painful but not romantic.
  18. There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results.
  19. We flee from the truth in vain.
  20. It is a poor idea to lie to oneself.
  21. We are all prone to the myth of the perfect stranger.
  22. Love is never lost, not even in death.
  23. Nobody likes to be told what to do.
  24. The major advantage of illness is that it provides relief from responsibility.
  25. We are afraid of the wrong things.
  26. Parents have a limited ability to shape children’s behavior, except for the worse.
  27. The only real paradises are those we have lost.
  28. Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic.
  29. Mental health requires freedom of choice.
  30. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing.

I especially agree with chapter 11 i don’t know why but i seem to relate to this the most. I kinda just seem to agree with the whole chapter. The below quotes are all from chapter 11 (which is almost the whole chapter oops).

  • It is human to shift blame for our failures.
  • Keeping our expectations low protect us from disappointment.
  • Our culture present us constantly with stories of people who rose from obscurity to fame, often with limited talent. Rather than to take hope from these stories, most people absorb them as indications of their own inadequacy. We are also confused and put off by the apparent ease with which these transformations occur. The slowness and with which productive change actually takes place does not play well in an impatient society.
  • We have become used to the idea that much of what we don’t like about ourselves can be quickly overcome with little effort on our part.
  • There are those who justify gambling by invoking the notion of selling hope.
  • Confession may indeed be good for the soul, but unless it is accompanied by altered behavior, it remains only words in the air.
  • We are verbal species, fond of conveying our minutest thoughts.
  • We attach excessive importance to promises.
  • Probably the single most confusing thing that people tell each other is “I love you.” We long to hear this powerful and reassuring message. Taken alone, how, unsupported by consistently loving behavior, this is frequently a lie– or, more charitably, a promise unlikely to be fulfilled.
  • The disconnect between what we say and what we do is not merely a measure of hypocrisy, since we usually believe our statements of good intent.
  • The walls of our self-constructed prisons are made up in equal parts of our fear of risk and our dream that the world and the people in it will conform to our fondest wishes.
  • It is hard to let go of a comforting illusion, but harder still to construct a happy life out of perceptions and beliefs that do not correspond to the world around us.

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