Hmm. I’ve just created wordpress not long ago and havent had the habit of blogging so i shall just type whatever that come to mind now cos i really feel the need to rant right now.
So lets start with senior high. School started, training, commitment, tutorials, everything starts piling up real quick. Real quick. I had many advice from seniors and teachers from the start of the year that the scariest part of senior high is not the workload. It is the piling up of the workload that kills you. Consistent work is the only way for senior high to do well. No more last minute studying. I was honestly quite scared when i heard all this cos im really afraid that i might be overwhelmed by all the stress. Everyone says senior high is the best part and shittest part of your life so you really have to maximise these two years cos it will go over in a blink of an eye. So true. I felt like i have just started school ytd well its going to be May next week already and i still remember my math teacher telling my class a lame april joke. WOW. It’s only a year and the half to A levels. I guess i have been rather slack at the start of the year cos trainings end at 9 plus every tuesday and thursday and i have training on saturday too which make it seems like i have trainings every alternate days. WOW. Im so tired everytime im back for training and while waiting for my hair to dry before i sleep i just nua away. and i have been consistently sleeping real late everynight. The result: Im a walking zombie the next day in school. Everyday. on days that i dont have training i would just go home to sleep then i sleep late then training the next day sleep late…. the cycle repeats. Its felt so bad honestly. I felt that im going to be real sick soon. I felt like all this is taking a toll on my health. MY friends constantly tell me to sleep earlier etc. My senior once said, :eat, sleep, bball choose two.” im like, “why not all three?” and her reply was simple, “you cant.” Well she had just simply describe my situation for the past 4 months. and as you can already tell, i gave up on sleep. Reasoning is so simple. my studies affects my parents my teachers myself. bball affects my team my coach myself. sleep affects myself. See it? But i knew that i cant go on this way. I might really collapse soon. Anyways i have already started sleeping earlier making sure that i have at least 6 hours of sleep even though i still feel very sleepy in school and fell asleep in alot of tutorials and lectures. Guys, im really trying but sometimes its just too much for me. Until now im still trying to find a balance between everything in my life. I have been really hungry for opportunities so i just signed up for everything. then i realised i may have over committed.
Im so tired. Yes fucking tired. Yes im using the f word. Im. fucking. tired.
Can i just give up? No not so soon.
And to all the people who complain about ending late. Dont fucking complain when you reach home at 8. I reach home nearly 11. BANG. you r dead. yay. in my mind. a million times. BYE.
And to all the people who are going through similar thing as me. Love ya. Felt like only they understand me. Only they can criticise me please.
Really want to continue ranting but oh well i feel tired now so i shall keep the rest of my ranting for the next post.
Btw listen to Eminem;s Beautiful. Came across this song just now. Love these lyrics. Bye.